Resolution #1

I make New Year’s resolutions. Doesn’t everybody? I like the “clean slate” feeling a new year brings. But I think we get 2 new years – one in January and one in September when school starts. A blank piece of paper – a fresh start.

Typically my resolutions are broad – “pray more”, “lose a billion pounds”, etc. This year I’m going for a specific goals. I’m not really sure how many resolutions I have, but I’m starting with the top choice and I really think many of the others can be achieved by mastering this one resolution.

Resolution #1 – give up sugar

More specifically, candy. Table sugar. Shouldn’t be hard for a 36 year old to give up candy, right?

Wrong.

I have the sweet tooth of an 8 year old boy. My toddler’s sweet tooth is more progressed than mine – he will only eat chocolate. Me? Anything – bring it. The more it tastes like sugar, the better. Want to know what my last treat was last night at 10pm? Two Halloween sized boxes of Nerds. Can you please tell me what self-respecting woman eats Nerds? And it’s not because it was the only thing in the house. We are a week after Christmas – I have chocolate, cookies, ice cream, mints – you name it. Nope, not me. I went for the Nerds.

So today I gave it up. Almost cold turkey. I have eaten a kashi bar with 6 grams of natural sugar, and some honey roasted peanuts. But that’s it.

I hope my kids survive my detox. I’m hell on wheels over here. If only there was a Betty Ford Clinic for sugarholics. Or maybe one like Promises where it’s more like a spa than a detox center. Someplace where I could check in and then check out for 30 days.

For the record, I’m not making light of alcoholism and drug addiction. Not at all. I promise.

Or what if there was like a patch or something like Nicorette that gently weaned you from the sugar? Glaxo-Smith-Cline, can you jump on that?

And for the record, I probably would not take a pill or use a patch anyway. Probably. Sister can’t make promises.

So if you hear screams from my house, know it’s just the detox. When I feel like I’ve mastered this one, I’ll tell you my next resolution.