Friday, February 27, 2009

A few shout outs

To the slowest driver in Colleyville that just so happens to leave her neighborhood at the exact moment we drive by every morning - you have German engineering in that little Mercedes. The Germans should take your car away in the night for driving so slowly. It's the long, skinny peddle on the right. And I hope our kids never meet in the hallway because my son now knows you as "the slowest driver in Colleyville".

To the Schlotzsky's down the road. I'm not sure why I torture myself by going to your drive-thru. You are painfully slower than the slowest driver in Colleyville. And when I say unsweet tea, I mean unsweet tea. This isn't Georgia...sweet tea is not a default. But if you are going to give me sweet tea, could you at least slip a straw into the bag so I can actually drink it?

To the lady at Weight Watchers who doesn't like the taste of water. Really? Suck it up. Your kidney doesn't like the taste of splenda.

To the lady at the park Wednesday - I'm so glad your daughter has taught her 18 month old twins to clean up. I have news for you - all 18 month olds like to help mom. And despite your condescending tone when I said "wait til they turn 7" - mark my words. Those precious toddlers will start handing you and your mother of the year daughter their trash, sucker sticks, gum and anything else they don't want to hold on to.


Well that feels good now, doesn't it. I have more...but my lunch hour is up.


5 comments:

Steve Bezner said...

I needed a good laugh today. Hadn't had one yet. But now, I'm all laughed up. And they just kept building on one another.

Good times!

Oh, and don't go to the drive-thru at the Jack in the Box here, just FYI.

Tracy said...

Great post! It immediately made me think of more than a few "shout outs" I would like to give!! So funny!

Claire said...

Awesome. You are the queen of witty observations.

Anonymous said...

You crack me up! Love you!

Megan said...

Well done Amy. Well done. This blog thing may help my untapped angst.